Holiday Gift Ideas and Stocker Stuffers You’d Rather Not Receive
Christmas gift ideas can often be brain racking. Gift card, book or that new Wii game? Maybe something homemade like a festive ceramic bowl -or maybe not. In my quest to find self-improvement gifts for the holidays, I searched the internet for what one could give from a health standpoint. (if that is ever a good idea?) To my surprise, I found a wide range of personal improvements that shamelessly used a holiday theme for promotion of their services and products. Here are just of few of the best (or worst?)
“Get the Turkey Out Of Your Neck after the Holidays” While that sagging neck probably has nothing to do with the holidays, who could knock this perfect opportunity to make the association with that tryptophan-loaded bird and a little neck tightening plastic surgery.
“Get Through Christmas without the Stuffing” Many people will gain a little weight over this holiday season, adding to their muffin tops and love handles. Associating fat with stuffing is irresistable although it is really largely tasty carbohydrates. Dale Carnegie will no doubt tell you that there is no better way to make friends than to offer the gift of liposuction.
“Finance your Face” While faded from the retail scene for years, the layaway merchandise purchase has reemerged due to the recent recession. Who would have thought that if you couldn’t afford that face lift or nosejob, you can now get one on layaway. Imagine the surprise of your in-law or boss when they open that gift card with the initial down payment being made by you.
“Get Rid of that Santa Belly” Santa’s job doesn’t require any more of a workout plan than milk and cookies. Most of us aren’t so fortunate. But your spouse will no doubt view you ever more affectionately with Jillian’s newest book or DVD.
“Healthy Fruitcake” Who wouldn’t love this newest twist on an old favorite that everyone recognizes and discards regularly. This healthiest version must be one we are inclined to discard even faster with no chance of ever even tasting it.
“Dental Stocking Stuffers” That lip smacking experience under the mistletoe is reported to potentially exchange up to 500 different types of germs according to one dental study. This is even more for those who suffer from gum disease. Stocking stuffers of toothbrushes and travel-size floss is bound to convey an American Dental Association approved holiday message.
“Bring in the New Year’s with a Bang” The promise of improved and future performance appears to know no limit when it comes to that male who has lost the festive spirit. Imagine the happy look on your husband’s or boyfriend’s face when he unwraps this little bottle of holiday magic. This is one New Year’s resolution that will surely be kept.
Just a few gift giving suggestions that will no doubt make you memorable…but perhaps not conveying the holiday spirit that you might have thought.
Dr. Barry Eppley